For the few of you who may have read my last blog - here we go again but differently. I designed this blog months ago, creating the background, colors, and template. Yet, I felt unsure whether or not I would really start writing again about my personal life. Baring it all to anyone is a hard endeavor, and I love my personal life; I protect it. As a preservice teacher, I am constantly thinking about the separation between the public and personal sphere and how to create that balance. Therefore, with a new alias, a new blog, and a hope to continue to walk that treacherous, thin line - here I go again with hope and determination. There are a lot of things I hope this blog will be for me personally, and whether or not readers will enjoy my slew of posts is yet to be determined. A rough picture of what I see this blog as is a compilation of recipes, moments of revelation and learning, quotes, poetry, writing, nerdiness, and my life- whatever it may entail (for better or worse). The topics may stray into many territories, but humans are complex, as is my mind and daily thoughts.
The spur to start this blog is a new adventure I am on, and I will be sharing my challenges along the way. Though it is an age old tale - yes everyone - I am trying to lose weight. However, my reasons I think are more realistic than some others I hear.
Disclaimers:
- I am not trying to make myself look prettier or more attractive. I already love myself more than ever before.
- I am not binge dieting or going through some insane workout routine, which I could never keep up with as a lifestyle change. Think of P90x or Insanity. I don't workout out now, so I will only do things that work for me.
- Lastly, I am not trying to lose some crazy amount of weight, but rather, I have a realistic goal in mind.
This morning I got on my scale to determine just how bad I had been over Valentine's Day weekend. It was a great weekend, so I knew the results would not be great themselves. However, nothing can prepare a person for hitting their highest weight once again. I am 235lbs. The last time I saw those numbers related to me was in the ninth grade. My life long battle of the bulge. What makes it harder, is that I have gained twenty of those pounds since right before my wedding. Last summer, my weight crept down to 215 - still pounds above where I wanted to be, but it was progress. Yes, in a little over a semester, the first six months of my marriage, I gained twenty pounds.
Well if this is happy weight, I think I'm dying of ecstasy.
So here I go again, on the path to get healthier. I love my life and myself, but I know my weight is not going to get naturally better unless I try. It's hard, and I bet my stomach will be doing more than the rumblies for the next few weeks until I get used to it.
Whatever you attempt to do in this world, do it with faith in yourself. I have failed at many things multiple times, but I always learned something. Do things that work for you, that fit in your life, and are attainable with perseverance. College has not been easy, nor was getting married, or quitting smoking, but these types of journeys are personally the most rewarding.
Here we go again. Here I go again. Let the day begin!
